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Tuesday, April 1st, 2014
Taken from a thread I made on NSider2.
So, wearable technology seems to be all the rage today, if tech blogs and analysts are to be believed. The whole craze started with a rumor of a still as of yet unannounced iWatch to be made by, you guessed it, Apple, but damn, even though it's been so long, we're still sure they have the utmost interest in making one! Anyways, wearable technology has spawned some great inventions over the past few years, like the Samsung Galaxy Gear, Endadget's winner for absolute worst product of 2013! Or how about the Oculus Rift, which is meant to be worn on the heads of many people furiously ranting on the internet about its acquisition by a company from an entirely different industry than what it is a part of, ahead of its consumer release. Or how about the Pebble, one of the highest rated smartwatches ever, that has no touchscreen and not even any color on the screen it does have! And don't forget Google Glass, because if you forget about it for too long it might never come out!

All in all, this new wearable field is absolutely revolutionary! Well, Nintendo has dabbled in wearables before, with products like the Pokewalker and the Wii Fit Meter. However, they have currently no interest in continuing this trend, as they are starting this QOL bullshit with this new, "non-wearable technology," they speak of, whatever the fuck that means. I mean, aren't most products that don't have to do with the above, "non-wearable?" Whatever. Anyways, I saw this as an opportunity to get a leg up on Nintendo. If they clearly are not going to embrace this absolutely amazing field, than I shall be the one to make it a big deal in the gaming industry. Introducing, the all-new gaming wearable meant to change the lives of gamers, forever and ever.

Yes, this new gaming wearable is an absolute revolution, with absolutely revolutionary games. Here's just a tiny bit of some of the absolutely amazing games you can play on the wearable.

You can play Pokemon, one of the best games of all time.

You can play Telefang, cuz you gotta catch all of 'em Denjuu's phone numbers!

You can even play Monopoly!

Now some of you may be flaming at me, yelling, "That's just a damn Gameboy strapped to your arm!" Well, I can assure you that this is NOT a Nintendo Gameboy, as evidenced by this image of the unit:

Also, all of the images before this one are a figment of your imagination.

Anyways, are you all ready to game on your arm like never before? Like, really, never before, who in their right mind would game on their arm? Um...

Anyways, I, PM260, will now lurk back into the shadows. See ya!

EDIT: Oh, yeah, worst comes to worst, at least you know it's better than one of Nintendo's earliest forays into wearable gaming: